Joanna @ JoJo

2010-02-12T08:24:00.000-08:00

在某年某个时候，无数个某某的你们陪我走过。
实在是无数的感激，并感谢上主派遣了你们
让温暖不断卷入我的人生，感动着我，
从来不曾让我感到寂寞。
就是因为你们的爱，才能让我坚持到现今。

最近，感觉身体好像开始不怎么让人舒服，
有时很傻的想象着，如果那天真的到来，
我最想最想做的是什么？
我想我最想和我珍惜的你们，留下美好的回忆。
我想和我喜欢的人，共度欢喜，
我想回家，看看我最亲爱的你们，
我想把我的快乐，带给你们。
即使那天真的来临，我也希望你们会为我的快乐而快乐，
也不希望你们为我而沮丧。

现在的我，并不敢去设想，可以找到永恒的幸福
即使是那么的短暂，我不会有遗憾。
现在的我，决心把自己给找回来，
那个一直笑脸西皮，爱捉弄，好玩的，总是为身边的人着想的我，
以在她进美国消失了好一段时间，
我得做回自己，接着自己的时间，让自己的人生留下美好的句点。

ARGH~

2009-11-19T17:10:00.000-08:00

Something just piss me off today...
She text me, blame that I never inform her earlier once I got accident?
Why don't she clarify something...WHY I don feel like call her once I got accident?
Secondly, HOW am I going to call her on bed?

She seriously piss me off, trying to find fight with me? or trying to make me more sick?
Hate the feeling!! Just ask yourself...
What is the first respond to me when I called you that I was in hospital?
You are just asking bout your damn fucking car!
As I told you..I never drive..But you keep shouting through the phone & wrong me
That's why you make me don't feel like call u once I got accident!
Don try to find a fight with me at the moment! You make me even more sick!

Few days later after it happen...

2009-11-18T16:48:00.000-08:00

tire..i'm tire...finally tears flow after it happened few days later..
It was the first time happen in my life, the very first & serious moment happen to me.
It makes me miss my daddy & my brother & all my friends so much...
At least..they will always stay at my side, giving me support
for not saying harsh things to annoy or hurt me.
Well I know is the harsh time I will getting through right now
With the coming scar appear on my face,
the face where I care so much...Tell me how can I take this? I have no idea..
I"M FRUST!!PANIC? WORRY? I just feel like crying everytime I think of the scar will appear forever on my face!

I wish the time can turn back..eventhough it happen again the same shit on me...
at least I will have the chance to protect my face..
i rather the fracture happen on my legs or hands..but not on my face!

I do feel down at the moment..i gonna try less to show up in the public..
Everyone look at me like a weird people...a girl with a big wound on the face..
I don dare to look up..so i always have to look down to the floor..so that no one can see me..

Anyhow...I do feel touch of everyone being so caring..especially him.. thanks darling & all my beloved friends~

Reflect...

2009-11-12T12:59:00.000-08:00

Reflecting the past of the year where i had in State.
it is just a mess...
a stupidest me for trust & rely on someone that mean so much to me

Promises were just lies & hurts..
where hold me till the month before
where make me lost myself in these first year of my life in State.
Make me feel so miserable in my life.
Sadness, tears, emotionally get destroy
Life got crash with those empty promises.

People asking me
What happen to me?
Where is the Jo that i know?
Speechless me..
I guess too many things happened
make me lost in my life
I changed...change to someone that i can't figure out
.

I should feel grateful to the someone
someone who gave me the first worst year memory in State
I woke up from the stupidest of me
And no more getting back
No more again, or last..
It was the end..Since the day I choose to let go

I realize I'm no longer the Jo i used to be..I changed without notice..it might happened during how i got treated.but i do wanted to be back who i used to be..

I know i have to move my ass up to work things out
No longer get effected by anyone else..but myself..
I know i shouldn't give any excuses or blames on to stop myself stay stronger & live better for what i have right now..where am i right now..
I do know that..the only way to survive is to start my journey right now..
I gonna get it started, appreciate the moment now & go back Malaysia to visit my buddies...missing them so badly!!

2009-11-12T12:45:00.000-08:00

Remember those time having fun together, work together, party together
Whenever,whoever get down or emo-ing
we will leave everything aside & spending time to each others all day & night~
Yam Ca-ing, ShiSha-ing, Hang around the Malls
Nathan's the place where we gathered, settle the problems among the gang..sharing the happiness & sadness together...
The paradise we used to go...MICH's HoUSE..WINE, FOODS...YUMmY..
Walk around the night market..seeking for my favorite snacks~
PArty every weekends...drink crazily, sexy dance..dirrty dance..when the effective of alcoholic started in our mind...

The funny things in our gang...whoever has relation problem, the others will be facing the same problems one by one..whoever get well in relations...others will got effected! what a crap?or a curse? lol~ it did happened on us for so many times...that's make us believe the fate we have together...

YoU GuYs wiLL nEvEr b FORGOtTen iN MY LIFE!!
~LOVE ALWAYS~

Marc & Jo the moment working together in TF Doing some crazy stuff together in the office..

Will always remember this day you guys made for me.. Remember the tears the smiles the companion to walk me through the gate Appreciate for never letting me alone till the end~

Never Drink ALonE~

Our Family DinnEr~~

Thanks for the surprise farewell+pre celebration birthday dinner! Never forget the way Marcus "con" me to here!
~ TOuchiNG MoMeNT~

*MISS U..U...& U....*

SEPT 27

2009-09-27T16:56:00.001-07:00

A year gone! I had stayed in the State for a year! SEPT 27..a year before the same date i just reach to the State.. APPLAUSE FOR ME! i make it!

SEPT 27 2009~ lying on the bed, thinking of the days i been through for the first year in State..

The first thing came into my mind was the scene happened in KLIA. The tears v had, the smile v got! I had never forget the moment v spent for each others! The suprise party & the gift box with full of letters & photo! I LOVE IT~ I do miss u guys so much!

Thanks Buddies for the Suprise! Miss u guys!

The party life that never resist!

Wait for the day come!

2009-06-26T11:44:00.000-07:00

Has been sometimes have not been update my blog...

Lazy? Ignoring the Reality? or...i have no idea at all~ til today..LOL

Time past real fast..I have stayed in state for more than 6 months..

but feel like just few weeks before..

It had been so many things happen all these while..

I have no idea what should i believe right now?

Worth it? I have no idea at all..LEt's wait the day come..

Tears flow for few months..weight been loss while all these happen on me.

I keep ask myself~ Y should it b happen on me? I have no idea.

I'm waiting...wait til the day come..wait til the answer & the explaination~ wait for the promises..

Been hide myself for all these while~ hide for everything..for the truth~

Everydays, everynights been hang out with friends

to keep my mind busy for not think of those problem~

That's the only way to make me feel better till the day has come!

THOSE DAYS...2008

2008-12-30T21:38:00.000-08:00

Here come again the last day of the year

flashing back all those memories in this year

bringing up & down the mood

there were lotz of lotz of

sweet & bad memories

Remember the first day for the year

I celebrated with all the Happy Crew in Penang

Missing those wonderful moment with all the 'HAPPY' friends!!

Happy Crews are always bringing their smile

till now...well on the coming years!!

Remember the first time travel with my buddies

Marc, Karen...

First time I travel to others country with my best friend-Bangkok-Hatyai

Seriously miss the moment so much

the first time i experience spending time

with my beloved friend travelling

Forgetting those stressful thingy

Remember those moment with my buddies

Shopping, Hanging Around, Yam Cha-ing, ShiSHA-ing, Party...etc

Remembered all those time no matter sad or happy time

We will always stick together

Who ever had their problem

We'll always gather up at somewhere

Never ever be alone to face the problem

There will always someone will be there with us

We'll always head to our PARADISE when we had no where to hang

We always love to give suprises to the one who have their big day

We are like a big family..

Brothers & Sisters Hoods

Thanks for the sweet moments u guys had gave me

I miss u guys so much..Do wait me back ya!

Remember the moment I getting into my job

Freelance jobs...

Roving team, Sampling job, Nike Event, Roadshows

Remember those moment there is a close friend always b with me

we always worked together

Eat together

hang out together

--MARC MARC MARC--

--MARCUS LOKE--

Without Jo No MArc

Without MArc No JO

That's what people always say

My first time experienced by working with philipmorris

SAMPOERNA GIRL!

SAmSOn ConCerts..Indonesia Fiesta..

SAMPOERNA ROCKZ

Somewhere, Someday, Somemoment

He appeared in my life

He cheer me up when I'm down

He always being supportive

He scolded me sometimes to show his cares to a dumb me

He sing to me from his heart

thru the lyrics, I hear him

He cooked & packed when I was in hurry for work

He never put a blame on being my driver

Drive me before & after work no matter where I'll be

He never put me aside

He never leave me alone

whenever he goes...he'll bring me along

Yet He had taught me alotz

I appreciate every moments you gave

THANK YOU

Nowmatter how we are now..you are always remember!!

God will guide us the way we heading!!

I celebrated my 21st birthday in State

I started my nightmare

well nothing will beat me down

I'll learn to stand on it

Keep my life going

I won care how she turn & twist story

I won care what she did behind me

A phrase always appear in my mind

"I LIVE FOR MYSELF, MY FUTURE

NOT FOR UNNESESSARY PERSON"

God will guide me the way...

WISH ALL OF YOU HAVE A MEMORABLE LAST MOMENT IN 2008

Missing u guys~

2008-12-03T11:36:00.000-08:00

After it happened last week, I hav nvr been open my mouth except on phone. Well, finally I receive my Green Card. These come to the day I hav to decide what to do on next. I plan on taking cosmetology program & work during my free time. But I have to study & get my GED done before i start my program~ ARH...-I forgotten to bring my transcript to the State~! I gonna wait while tai ko to get another copy from the college again & mail it to me. Careless me!Hmph~ Have to wait for at least one month!

Guess what is first thing appear in my mind once I got my GC?-"woohoo, I can go back to M'sia ady~!" Yea..I so miss my buddies, family, my life in M'sia! I wanted to go back so badly. I'll work hard & get my flight ticket to go bec for 1 or 2 months & meet up again! I miss u guys so much!

Christmas coming soon. How will u guys celebrate over there? CLUB & PARTY again? missed all those life v used to have together~ partying~! I have nvr been to club at all since the day I step into the State! lol~ getting itch ady..OoHOoo..Well, maybe something different this year for me- snowy?coldy?winty day?lol~

Knowing that u guys going to Langkawi for a trip at the coming year Jan. OooOOoo..sob sob..I wish I'm there to join the trip thou!:'( Anyway, do enjoy there & snap more pictures! Missing of each of u~ luv always*

Melancholy~

2008-11-24T14:10:00.000-08:00

Listening to a song

A song where I always like so much when I was in M'sia

A song where telling my feeling right now

-Say All I Need-

Yeah..I'm LOST..

I need air to breath...

Staying in the State for almost 2 months

Everyone will always think that

"wow..How great that you can go to State~!!"

Yea..how great?!~

I was thinking at the first I came here

If you guys ask- "JO~ how's State?"

"GREAT~! US is a great place!"

Honestly, I do fall into this place

But why..

Why I can't feel the happiness here?

Yeah~ someone had just leave us for 8 years

bump into my life

It should be a happy moment right?

But what I feel all the time is just

Disappointment, Stressful, Sadness

She's killing my soul

I have no place to release my feeling

I have no one to talk to as how I was in M'sia

I have no one to rely on, to believe to

I always hide in the room & cry alone

I can't cry it loud

well, I don dare to

Cause it'll create arguement

I keep all my feeling

All my sadness

No matter how much pains I had been through

From the day I reached to State till now

Have all store in my heart

I realise that I had change

I can't figure out what am I doin right now

I hardly control my temper

I'm getting mean

Just to protect myself

Avoiding hurts

I always tell myself

- "Jo, you have to be strong,

No matter what happen,

Stand still, don fall down!"

But I worry..

Worry one day, I break down~

Tears flow like river

Missing all my buddies so much

Flash back all those scenes

where we had been through in M'sia

sadness, happiness..

We shared together

We always there for each other

Whenever one of us having problems

I miss the big family

Our brothers-sisters-hood

You guys always remembered

*love*

Being with HER

2008-10-26T13:44:00.001-07:00

Staying in the State for a month...

30 days passed

A lots of things had happened in this short month,

been sacrificed leave all the things in M'sia-

Family, Buddies, Lover, Education & my Lifestyle.

Finding hard to let thing goes & being alone

but have to..

I have a new life here..which i never ever wish to have to

Being here for a month,

I always stay in a moody day~

I feel like a prisoner,

Staying in a jail.

What ever i did..i need to pass through her..

i lost my privacy, my life..MYSELF~

i found out that is a big gap between me & her.

She too much control,

Too many words,

Hard to communicate as well.

She never ever bother about my feeling,

she just want me to be what she wanted to..

What she think is right..

By not letting me to be myself..

I tried to voice up my feeling for so many times..

even had arguement..

but what I got is just zerO.

She never accept whatever i said,

she never accept my personality,

She's not willing to be understand her own daugther

for never staying with her in 8 years

she never be respect of me-

for scolded me, yelled at me in sudden

& complaint about all the passed

blame on us..especially my dad

I feel so stress..so tire..for listening of her

telling the same old story in this 8 years

for comparing herself wif dad

I don find the point?

I just feel annoyed.

I feel so disappointed..

for everything she did to me.

I dunno how to face a people like her

yet she is my mom.

I dunno how to respect her..

even i tried so many time..

i just can't face or stand a person like her,

never ever admit the problems she have;

Never ever care about ppl's feeling at all;

Never ever listen to peoples';

Always aspecting everyone to follow her needs;

shout & yell whenever she feels wrong;

Always put the blame on others but not herself;

Turning all the stories to show out herself;

etc..

I had be silence all the while

after I found out pointless to talk to her, to discuss with her.

But yet, get scolded as well.

I'm tire..

I'm not a dog,

I'm not her maid,

I'm not her machine-ROBOT.

I have my own characters,

I have my own privacy,

I have my plans.

I know i gonna be tough

because I'm alone here.

I have nothing here.

I'll wait the time comes,

TO BE MYSELF

I miss Malaysia so much..I miss my life..

I miss the days that all of you for always being with me

Support me, care of me, loves me

all the while when I'm in M'sia.

I miss every single minutes that I had been in M'sia.

I miss my 21 years life there..

I love u all..

I wish I could get back my life..

Moving on..